Easier Said Then Done
by checkedearedbunny
Summary: The night of the poker game. Mostly Rory's thoughts. How did she end up in a room full of strangers? Why didn't she leave? Oneshot.


DISCLAIMER: Last time I checked my list of my possessions 'Gilmore Girls' wasn't on it. So I deduced. Here's the result: I don't own it.

**Easier Said Then Done**

_I promised myself a long time ago that I do NOT need drama in my life. Now -according to the 'Branford Cereal Girls' - I am THE DRAMA in someone else's life. Great._

_How did I end up here? Phone in my hand, and I'm pretty sure if Paris came into my room she'd see the little 'Devil-Rory' above my head on the left and the nice 'Angel-Rory' on the right arguing wether to call Logan or not. The only problem is I have no idea which one is 'pro' and which one is 'con'-calling. Better yet I should get a skull. Since I am Miss Drama now grabbing it and saying 'To call or not to call, that is the question.' would fit better. Plus I've had enough of the two Rorys as they tried to decide what should I wear on this 'spur-of-the-moment date' of ours. The simple truth is that I am going to call him. How could I not? I want to. After all I spent the entire evening curling my hair and choosing the perfect outfit in an almost schizophrenic state._

_I want this no-strings relationship, don't I? I always had strings. Strings treated me badly. They made me feel safe, and the very moment I let my walls down I've found myself in pain. So this time I don't expect anything. Just take what life offers to me. This way I am safe. I can't get hurt. Life can't let me down. No strings it is. In omnia paratus..._

...Rory pressed the 'call' button, ready to set the oh-so spur-of-the-moment date. It went easier than she thought it would. Logan was nice and willing to meet her. A few minutes later knocked on Logan's door, ran her right hand through her hair making it look a little bit rumpled – she had to 'act casual but look hot' after all. The next thing she knew she was walking into a room full of strangers, few of them playing poker, facing Logan, who just greeted her and patting the seat next to him called her 'kiddo'. At that very moment the whole 'no strings so I won't get hurt' conception went down the drain. She was confused, and embarassed and wanted to be somwhere else. Even the worst Friday night dinner would have been better than the current situation. At least then she knew what to expect. Then Logan spoke to her and she answered- more specifically rambled. When the stooges finally stopped talking to or about her she just sat there trying her best not to look as crestfallen as she felt.

_What was I thinking! It's a Catch-22 situation- I can't and certainly don't want to sit here as if I enjoyed the night, but I can't back out gracefully. I can't believe how naive I am._

_I'm Ace. He needs a jack or a ten... better yet a jack AND a ten... do I really want to be one in the many? I hate that he is the one who's holding all the cards. Maybe I am in denial. I never wanted to be one card in the deck. I felt special at the Life and Death Brigade event. I felt special at that stupid party. He was so caring. I felt special at the classroom during that stupid stunt. OK. I didn't. I was mad, but Marty seemed to speak Logan better than I do. At least I wish now he would have been right with the 'he likes you, stop being so naive' speech. Anyway, I felt special, and I liked it. _

_Dad said that 'Who could not like being kissed by a Gilmore girl?'. But that didn't stop him. Mom's magic couldn't make him grow up. Her magic wasn't enough to make him stay. Vicious circle. He always manages to screw up our lives. Especially Mom's. What if with that kiss in the bridal room I accidentally started my own precious vicious circle? I'm not sure wether I'm strong enough to end it. After all he seems to be my own presonal Kryptonite. He's smart and witty, and well-rounded, and... STOP IT! VICIOUS CIRCLE._

_Why can't I just leave? Why does he have this effect on me? Want to go. No. Want to stay and watch him. Want to touch him. Want him to want to touch me. _

She tried to leave- her legs didn't obey.

Then all the voices sounded distant. She knew she should have left hours ago. But Logan was there. It felt good to be near him. No matter what she wanted to feel, she was mesmerized.

_Is that a blanket? Warm. Feels good. Nice pillow. Smells good. Logan. _

So she stayed and eventually fell asleep on his couch...

**AN: **So this is a oneshot. My thoughts on what might she think. R/R please.


End file.
